War and Peace

I selected only the choicest carcinogens, the tastiest toxins, and the most hard-hitting health and environmental hazards as my weapons. I had to win this war, even if it came down to a "scorched earth" methodology with my own body taking some hits. I was willing to make those sacrifices if it meant having no more insects in my apartment.  
I'm fine with most animals, but anything with more than four legs is immediately on shaky terms with me, especially if they are in my apartment uninvited. My apartment, my home, is my safe place, where I want to feel completely comfortable and relaxed and not find myself continually doing double takes at shadows in dark corners half expecting to find my dirty clothes hamper or coffee maker in the middle of some Kafkaesque metamorphosis into the biggest cockroach I've ever hoped never to see outside my restless dreams of late in which I have a whole extra room in my house completely devoted to and filled with all variety of slimy clicky segmented antenna laden sharp fuzzy footed clear winged oversized brown and black hued insects constantly moving in jittery lines underneath and through each other and over my bare feet as I stand there each night and choose one type of bug of the hundreds or thousands there to carefully exterminate with tweezers or chopsticks or a poison dart blowgun or some other precise method that will ensure no collateral damage. This must me done right and perfect, and my blood pounds through my neck and up to my skull and my heart struggles to keep up and my brain somehow keeps me asleep through all of this but I finally wake up and go to the store and buy every type of bait trap and roach spray and fumigation fogger I can find and I throw it all in a giant cement mixer sized blender making a fine paste that will surely solve all my problems if applied liberally enough to every nook and cranny and dark corner and empty cabinet and behind the toilet and the hot water heater and maybe under the appliances in the kitchen and at the bases of the walls in the hallway and around the rest of the house and under the mat at the front door to ward off any newcomers as well. I set the rest out in a pan at a sunny window and let it dry into a powder to be sprinkled everywhere all over the carpet and into the air conditioning for good circulation and into a shaker to season my food and a bit is sprinkled into my shoes as well for good measure. I finally feel slightly safer when I have done these things and I see a small cockroach on its back in its death throes on the bathroom sink. This is what victory and wellbeing look like, I think, as I flush it down the toilet in a wad of toilet paper.